pLaN Z

I am very fond of alternate strategies. So much so that I feel being swallowed up by an unfailing pessimism. The idea of taking any kind of risk simply freaks me out. I always have this feeling that the idea of doing something which I look forward to might never work out or turn out as I expect it to, thereby ending up making thousands of  subsidary plans. On several occassions how I had wished to let go of a failed attempt instead of jumping to plan B, if not B then plan C and so on. I wonder how different would that life have been! The mere thought of idling makes me sad. I hate floating on an  oarless boat. Not that I am good at rowing. I just end up propelling the boat in the direction of the wind, which is as good as an oarless boat I guess. The thought of undirected propelling apparently being better than floating aimlessly, I realise, is the root of the problem. It gives you a superficial impression of being engaged. Propelling or floating is all the same if the motion is Brownian!
I so envy people who can take decision on spot. And here I am.. unable to decide what to choose for lunch! I have to make my mind up on the way to the canteen to save myself some extra time at the counter! Having said that I think Plan b isn't that bad. It just saves you from being reckless. But what are dangerous I guess are plans C-Z! Always being on the safer side just makes you miss the mini adventures in life.. :)